June 21

I just dropped James off at NOLS and I can't stop crying. I'm alone, 4300 miles from home and no where really to go. I know I'm just tired an emotional. But we didn't even get to say goodbye. We have been through a lot the last 20 days and he really became my traveling partner, we got each other through some stuff and its hard to think that I'm alone again. I just want to find a safe place I sleep for a bit before heading back to anchorage. A place to pull myself together and get my smile ready for the next leg if the journey.

I'm at the Fred and Meyer grocery store trying to pull myself together. Charging my phone and my laptop at the cafe and cruising on couch surfing. It's stupid how much I miss James already, everything reminds me of him and the trip and I just need some familiarity. I keep thinking he is going to walk around the corner and come sit down next to me. I wonder if this I how my family feels when I leave them.  

We had such a roller coaster of a trip, I swear we probably hated each other until we got to the homestead in Alaska. It's amazing how quick things can turn around. I just wish I had a chance to say goodbye before he jumped into his nols orientation. Things just happened so fast this morning.